Many parents fall into a serious mistake, which is the Differentiation between children whether intentionally or unintentionally but the results of this will not be endearing or satisfactory to all sides. It is a great scourge on the family and society, not only because of the frustration, despair and hatred the neglected child gets to his brother, but it generates a sense of ego in the spoiled child and makes him a hateful person who looks at his brother with a look of contempt and victory over him because he won the love of his father and mother alone and what is left behind from this treatment Of the negative consequences later. We will show you in this article.

Reasons for Differentiation between children

Some parents may differentiate between their children without realizing it but some of them deliberately differentiate for any reason that does not justify any of the bad actions they do towards their children but they are inherited and the most prominent reasons are the following:

• Gender difference: Some prefer males more than females and exaggerate it under the pretext that the boy is a pride and bears the name of his father, so they make the project of a man who is authoritarian and incomprehensible and others prefer females for their tenderness and exaggerate their pampering to the extent that they reach the neglect of males.
• Age: You find some parents prefer the eldest son and give him all the powers and advantages, but many prefer the youngest and this is a greater burden and danger.
• Different qualities: whether in beauty, handsomeness, intelligence, etc., which makes parents tend to a certain child from the rest of his siblings.

Negative effects of differentiation between children

• The child would have many psychological effects that affect him and may expose him to depression, isolation and loss of self-confidence.
• A feeling of jealousy and hatred between brothers.
• The spoiled one feels of excessive selfishness and to get everything for him alone.
• A child may seek love, safety and respect among strangers because he does not find them among his family and this may expose him to risks and bad people.
• Feelings of distress and sadness persist even when he grows up that accompanies him throughout his life and may affect the way he raises his children.
• A child may turn from a righteous son to a disobedient son, and he does not accept the advice of his parents and does not listen to them.

?Also you can read: how can you treat your child’s tongue slips

Are parents held accountable for differentiating between children?

It’s proved that differentiation between children contradicts with the law of Allah and is considered sinful, pointing out that its effects appear later in the lives of children, whether in the form of bickering or lack of family disconnection and may have a negative impact on the occurrence of disobedience

And also proved that differentiation between children is one of the causes of disobedience and pointed out that it is not only children who can show disobedience behaviors, but also the father and mother can fall into this behavior if they do not solve the situation and work to achieve balance and justice between family members

Differentiation between children

Equality between children

 Equality between children is an essential basis for building a healthy and stable family.

Everyone in the family should have a fair and equal share of care and attention.

 When children are equal, there’s a sense of justice and emotional stability will be developed.

Achieving equality contributes to enhancing communication and understanding between individuals, as they feel that they are an equal and respected part of the family.

 In addition, equality promotes the spirit of cooperation and solidarity between siblings leading to build up relationships based on love and appreciation.

 In the end, the importance of equality lies in creating a healthy and sustainable environment within the family, which contributes to the formation of strong and balanced personalities for children in the future.

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  Fear Allah and treat your children equally

You should know, O father, that separating between children is a great crime, it is not only abhorrent, but it is forbidden by Sharia and is not permissible, as the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Be fair among your children, be fair among your children, be just among your children.” narrated by Bukhary.